


2.0

by orphan_account



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: And Trying Really Hard To Be a Good Person, Anxiety, Aroace Jenna Rolan, Artificial Intelligence, Bullying, Depression, F/F, F/M, FBI investigations, Fluff and Angst, Gun Violence, Homophobia, Humanoid Squip AU, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Past Relationships, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Missing Persons, Non-Graphic Smut, Non-Graphic Violence, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, The Squip Is The Biggest Boyf riends Shipper, Trans Character, Trans Michael Mell, Transphobia, Trust Him, driving without a license, graphic description of violence, once again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-01-10 13:47:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12300402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He knew the new model would come out at some point. The Squip said so himself. He just didn’t know it would look like this.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I????? This is so bad????? And short???? I'm sorry, I tried 
> 
> Based off [elliotmakesanentrance's](http://www.elliotmakesanentrance.tumblr.com) AU

He knew the new model would come out at some point. The Squip said so himself. He just didn’t know it would look like this. The pill _was_ illegal, so how would the government, or anyone, know that Jeremy had one? But they did. Along with Rich, Chloe, Jake and everyone else in the play. And probably more people in the US. Did they punish them? No. Did they punish the dealers? No.

They released the new model to anyone who had the previous version of the Squip.

Including Jeremy.

Including Rich, Chloe, Jake, Christine, Jenna, and Brooke. Michael would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a little left out when he didn’t get a brown box labeled simply 2.0. They knew it was the Squip because, honestly, what else could it be? It was more like a brown rectangle, actually. Of course, he didn’t _want_ a Squip, he just wanted to be included and not be confused as fuck when he ran into Jeremy’s room and saw 7 rectangular boxes in the corner as the Squip Squad sat in a circle on the floor talking about the governments lies.

None of them opened it on delivery day. Or the next day. In fact, on the third day, Rich and Brooke threw theirs away. “I didn’t have it for that long, but when I did, it wasn’t nice at all,” Brooke stated. Rich didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. They all understood. On the fourth day, Jake threw his away. Christine and Chloe followed. But Jeremy and Jenna hid theirs, making a promise not to tell the others that they still had it. Not until they were ready to open it, that is.

They struggled. Jenna wanted to tell everyone. A juicy secret that was her own to give away. She wanted the attention, but never told. Jeremy only wanted to tell Michael, and it killed him that Michael couldn’t know. Still, they hid it. For weeks. Talk died down about the new ‘Squip’ in the group. Since none of them opened it, none of them knew what the new model actually looked like. Until a month later, when 18 new students came to school. 18 new models of the Squip.

They knew they were Squips, they acted unlike any other student there. They were smart, they were cool, and they were always with one special person. Nobody but the Squad questioned it. At lease, _out loud._ As far as the school was concerned, Daniel was just Dustin’s cool cousin that just moved in and just happened to look like Miles McKenna. Lucy’s best friend just happened to look like Mike Faist. And it was pure luck that Matt, the kid who hasn’t made a single friend since he moved in two years ago, became fast friends with the new girl who looked like _fucking Britney Spears._ And, perhaps the most noticeable feature, they were all connected with bright icy blue eyes.

The worst, best, and most convenient part about the new Squips was not only that they _looked_ like human teenagers. They _acted_ like them. Nobody knew the difference unless they analyzed the new student very carefully, which a very paranoid Rich did. They had emotions and seemed to feel pain. The could cry and grow, but Rich noticed that they couldn’t bleed. The skin was supposed to be soft, like real flesh, the hair was supposed to be soft as well. And you’d think with all that technology wasted on making it look lifelike and become fucking _waterproof,_ they could at least make it bleed a little.

Still, after all this, nothing was found on the internet. No small post, no blogs. Nobody even knew which company sent them. Who made them? _How did they get all these addresses?_ When the box came, it honest to god just said ‘2.0’. Nothing more, nothing less. Jeremy thought over this since delivery day, but never brought it up. He _knew_ other people in the Squad had to be wondering the same thing, right? Yet, he never talked about it. And nobody else brought it up either.

After a month, 18 new students, regretting, remembering, and wondering, Jeremy Heere stood in front of the brown rectangular box in his closet. He remembered. He remembered telling Jenna he would call her when he wanted to open his, and they would call the squad over and tell them. She would do the same for him. He remembered the Squip telling him he was worthless. Pitiful. He remembered the shocks running through his body. He couldn’t forget.  

With every step closer, his heart started pounding harder in his chest. The thumping rang in his ears. _Everything about you makes me wanna die._

A shaking hand reached the corner of the box and his fingertips slowly traced the tape holding it together. _Everything about me makes me wanna die._

Jeremy gulped back painful thoughts, slipping the end of the piece of tape between his thumb and index finger, so he could tear it off with one single pull. He took a quivering breath. Why was he doing this? He didn’t have to do this, he could call Jenna. Jake, Christine, Michael, somebody. But he didn’t move. _Get out of my way._

_Loser._

The tape was off with one quick tug and soon after Jeremy eagerly tore the box open. He had to know. That’s why he didn’t call anyone. That’s why he was doing it like this. He had to see it. He had to understand it. _He had to_. As soon as the box opened, bubble wrap flew out. No manual, no explanation, just bubble wrap, as if it were glass or a paperback book and not some teenage sized humanized robot.  

Jeremy’s eyes widened. It stood upright, leaning on the back of the box. His Squip. His _new_ Squip. He was still and pale, with raven black hair down to his ears. He had a few freckles below his eyes and around his nose. Tiny, and not too noticeable, but they were there. He was wearing a dull grey jacket and baggy jeans. He looked just like a teenager at school. But he wasn’t breathing. Did he need to breathe? I mean, well, he didn’t, but he needed to look like he was breathing. How did he turn it on? How did he turn it off? If Mountain Dew did stuff to it before, would it now?

He stared blankly at it for a few seconds, unsure about what to do. It didn’t look like his first Squip. His first one was older, and more intimidating then whatever was standing before him. Or laying? But there were enough similarities to make memories flood back. He felt as helpless as he did looking at the grey pill in his fingers less than a year ago, desperate to be cool. To be someone else. To be with Christine. To be popular. He didn’t want that again.

Did he?

He thought about it. No, he didn’t. He just wanted to know. He needed to know. Shaking, Jeremy reached out his hand to tough the Squip’s unmoving hand beside him. Two things caused Jeremy to jump back in horror. First, the flesh was _flesh._ Not hard at all, although he could feel metal that felt surprisingly more like bone than he expected. He felt- it felt human, which was supposed to be impossible. But here it was. Here Jeremy was. Second, the Squip’s eyes flew open, and the Squip’s face fell as soon as it looked at the shaking boy in front of it.

It remembered Jeremy. And Jeremy remembered it.    


	2. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have no idea what's going on or what I'm doing. I honestly don't know. Help

Nobody moved for five seconds. A solid five seconds. It was enough time to let Jeremy look the Squip up and down, but not enough to actually _think_ about what was happening. He was frozen. Time stopped. It looked so real, it looked so _different,_ yet the same. So young and fragile. It wasn’t just its looks, it felt human too. Its arm was skinny, or what Jeremy felt of it was skinny. Realistically skinny. Jeremy’s eyes trailed all the way down to its feet, then back up to its eyes, which were still looking directly at Jeremy.

After five seconds, Jeremy could feel his heart beat out of his chest, his throat became dry, and his head became clouded. The Squip seemed to realize this, and opened its mouth- _its goddamn mouth -_ to speak. But Jeremy slammed the door as hard as he could as backed up towards the wall, covering his eyes. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Jeremy could not be more wrong about that. He started hyperventilating, and he was painfully aware of the fact. Once he was up against the wall, he let himself fall down to sit.

He wanted to call out for somebody, anybody, but no one was home, or anywhere near his home. No one could hear him. No one at all. _He was alone. He was alone with a human sized abusive robot._ As soon as the word ‘abusive’ popped into his head, Jeremy sat up straight, pulling his hands away from his head and putting them against the wall, with his palms on the floor. His eyes were wide, and he looked at the closet door, preparing himself for the worst.

But it never came. Could the Squip still shock him? Was he still connected to Jeremy’s brain in any way? What if he-

“I am, Jeremy,” Came a mid-range, teenage voice. Complete with a voice crack. There was still a hint of the Keanu Reeve’s type voice he was used to, but it was much younger. And it was talking to him. Outside of his body. Anyone could hear. His Squip. He was never supposed to come back. This was never supposed to happen. _And not like this._ Definitely, not like this.

Jeremy screamed. One of the loudest screams he had ever screamed. He didn’t exactly know why he did it, he just did. He screamed until a shock wave moved through his entire body, shutting him up. He winced, letting tears accumulate in his eyes, but they never fell. Jeremy pressed himself up against the wall even more, making sure his back was straight, but pulling his knees up to him so he took up less space.

He wrapped his arms around his knees, watching the closet door open from the inside. The Squip’s eyes landed directly on Jeremy’s face, studying him harshly. Jeremy looked at the Squip as well. After a minute, it walked next to Jeremy, and calmly sat down beside him, not looking at him. Jeremy’s head turned over to the Squip. It sighed, still keeping his eyes on the opened box in the closet. Jeremy watched the Squip’s shoulders fall up and down ever so slightly, as if it was breathing. It would blink too.

Every tick and fidget it made was exactly like one any normal teenager would make, and Jeremy had no idea if that fact should comfort him or not. “Look at the closet,” It said blankly, so Jeremy did. He gulped down the knot in his throat. “In,” The Squip commanded in a calming tone, but Jeremy couldn’t help but think about what it was planning. “In,” It repeated, a little louder. Jeremy slowly started to breath in as the Squip counted. “One, two, three, four. Hold, one, two. Out, one, two, three, four, five. Hold, one, two...”

Jeremy followed the Squip’s instructions for three minutes before he started to calm down. He started to look over at the Squip, who’s facial expressions never changed, but as soon as he turned his head, the Squip calmly but firmly said; “No,” making Jeremy snap his head back.

Another minute later, the Squip stopped, and Jeremy was now in a rhythm. In, one, two three, four. Hold, one, two. Out, one, two, three, four, five. The next minute, Jeremy found himself breathing regularly at last. His eyes still sat on the box in the closet, surrounded by hanging jackets. It was silent in the room, except for the sound of breathing. Not just Jeremy, but the Squip. And it was almost calming, listening to him breathe. He didn’t quite know why. It just was.

“You’ve let yourself go, Jeremy,” The Squip said plainly. Jeremy’s heart fell. “You’re much too sensitive. Whatever happened to you?” He didn’t answer. He crumbled under the sound of the Squip again, telling him he was worthless and useless. He was worthless and useless. “At least you have Christine,” The Squip said. After a few seconds, it cleared its throat, or at least, made a sound like it, if not just to make Jeremy believe it was even more of a human.

“You don’t have to think to me all the time now. In fact, get used to talking to me aloud. I can’t think to you all the time,” He said randomly, like he was updating Jeremy on all the new details.

Jeremy didn’t answer. His mouth was dry, and he still felt like he was out of breath. He just looked at the floor. His eyes glanced over to the Squip’s shoes. The Nike sneakers seemed worn out, even though they technically just came out of the box. “Jeremy?” Jeremy didn’t look over at it. “I don’t want to shock you again, Jeremy,” It said. Lies.

If he knew the Squip at all, it would do anything to get Jeremy to obey it. And it worked. Jeremy braced himself, letting a shock flow through him. However, this one was more severe than the last. Jeremy jumped, looking over at the Squip and involuntarily backhanding his arm. Luckily, it wasn’t hard. Jeremy had no idea what it would feel like if his bones touched metal. But he gasped, realizing that he hit the Squip, or touched him at all, and hugged his body, rolling into his knees. He grit his teeth, and closed his eyes, expecting the Squip to be mad at him.

But it wasn’t. Jeremy opened his eyes, to see the Squip staring at him blankly. “That’s alright,” It said, in reference to what Jeremy had done. “Jeremy, I really don’t want to shock you. That treatment feels terrible. But I will do what I must to get you to obey me,” 

Jeremy had his eyes on the Squip, finally. “What do you want to do?” The Squip asked. Jeremy just shrugged slightly. Who knew? What the hell do you do with this? Other kids had their own Squips, and maybe they knew what to do. But they weren’t Jeremy. They didn’t have the same experience as Jeremy. They didn’t- “That’s right,” The Squip interrupted. “They aren’t you, and I suppose they had...a much more pleasant experience, but that doesn’t give you an excuse not to deal with this situation, or me,”

He- It was right. God, it was getting easier to think of the Squip as a human, but it wasn’t human! It would never be human! It would never be a part of Jeremy’s life again, ever. “Jeremy, I’d appreciate it if you speak to me aloud, like I told you to. Shocking you and reading your mind severely drains my battery power,”

“How do you even,” Jeremy shrieked, then he looked at the Squip, and lowered his voice. “Recharge...”

The Squip shrugged. “How do you recharge?”

“Sleep?” Jeremy said, although it sounded like a question, like he wasn’t quite sure of it himself.

“I sleep,” It said, as if it was obvious. “Like a normal human teenager,”

“Oh,” Jeremy said. Then he didn’t say anything else. Not that he didn’t have anything else to say, or ask, he just didn’t want to.

Why should he be talking to the Squip at all? Why should he even have to deal with it? Why did he open the box? Why didn’t he call Jenna? Why doesn’t he get Michael? He might know what to do, at least more than Jeremy. Michael always had the better head on his shoulders, while Jeremy was all over the place. Maybe that was why Michael knew how to get rid of the Squip before Jeremy ever did. “Jeremy, I now you have questions,” The Squip said.

It took a while, but Jeremy responded. Out loud. “Didja read my mind again?” He mumbled. 

The Squip shook its head. “I can’t do that again without having to shut down. I’ll be stronger tomorrow,”

“Oh. Goodie,” Jeremy deadpanned.

The Squip ignored it. “I know you have questions because...well, it’d be insane not to have questions about this, Jeremy. But, I must warn you, I don’t have all the answers,” 

It was quiet for a few seconds, then Jeremy looked over to the Squip and shrugged. “Ok,”

The Squip raised its eyebrows. “Ok?”

“What’s new?” Jeremy asked.

The Squip smirked a little and cleared its throat. “Well, I’m obviously more...alive, now, as you would put it. I can read your mind and shock you if I wish, but it takes a lot of strength to do so. More strength to read your mind and talk to you through your mind, and I am new. Straight out of the box. So, I can’t really do much of that right now. But I’m sure in the days to come I will get stronger and I will be able to talk to you from anywhere, really. I’m still connected to your brain, Jeremy,” It said, then trailed off. It was silent for a few seconds, looking at it’s hands, before it picked up where it left off.

“I’m not connected to the internet, but I’m still programmed to know a lot,” It shrugged and smirked again. “I’m still made of math,” Jeremy scoffed and smiled, rolling his eyes. “I’m better equipped to understand and deal with human emotions, because, now I have them. I can eat and drink, and that’s what’s new,” The Squip said, making air quotes around ‘what’s new’.

“Ok,” Jeremy breathed out. He was about to say something important, but focused a little too much on the last sentence. He raised his eyebrows. “Do you, like, go to the bathroom? How does that work?”

The Squip chuckled a little, and Jeremy chuckled nervously along with it. He wasn’t as frightened as he was earlier, but it was a Squip. It was _his_ Squip. And that didn’t mean good news for anyone in the ‘Squip Squad’, named by Rich. Formally ‘Squipped Squad’. “Well, the food and liquid is burned,”

“Burned?”

“It’s burned inside of me,” The Squip confirmed. “Like, burning old trash,”

“Huh,” Jeremy said, looking back at the closet. “That’s weird,” He let a few seconds of silence pass before he turned to the Squip with a look of confusion. “How?”

The Squip shrugged. “I don’t know,”

“I thought you said you still knew a lot,” Jeremy joked.

“I also said I didn’t have all the answers,”

Jeremy shrugged and looked back ahead of him. The Squip was right. They needed to find out what they were doing, no matter how hard for Jeremy it was. He didn’t want to take the Squip to school or tell his dad about the Squip. But how was this going to work if neither of those things happened? And it was a packaged deal. If the Squip enrolled in school, Jeremy’s dad would have to know. If Jeremy just told his dad, he’d probably send him off to school to make everything look normal.

And how long could Jeremy keep this a secret from everyone else? And where was it going to stay? Could it just live in the closet? Did it have to eat? Jeremy probably should have asked that one, to be honest. But he was so busy thinking about what was going to come next. Human emotions. What did the Squip say about human emotions? It was programmed to have human emotions. But would that actually change anything about the way it acted? Jeremy looked over at the Squip again.

Did it now realize how shitty it was? How bad it made Jeremy feel? How bad it made _everyone_ feel? Would it try to be better? Or will it be the play all over again? The Squip finally looked over at Jeremy. “What?”

“I don’t trust you,” Jeremy said plainly, bracing himself for a shock. But it never came. The Squip chuckled nervously.

“Good, don’t trust me,” Jeremy raised his eyebrows. The Squip continued. “I have no idea what I’m capable of. I’m at least programed like a human now. I feel like this is the closest Squips will ever get to being human. And I have no idea what humans are capable of. Me and other humans. I’m scared of interacting with them too, I guess. And living with a lot of them. I’ve never had to do this before,” He paused and shrugged, looking back at Jeremy. “I don’t trust me, really. And I know that’s probably a stupid thing to proclaim, but I don’t know what’s going to come next, Jeremy. I’m scared. Are all human’s this scared of living?” It asked, tilting its head.

Great. Its got anxiety. Jeremy grinned and shrugged. “The ones I know are,” At least he knew that now not even the supercomputer knew what was going to come next, and that thought gave him a little more comfort. “Alright,” Jeremy started. “So, we need a plan. What do you think we should do?” 


	3. More Than Survive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Twirls in from depression* *Presses Post Without Preview button* *Twirls back*

Jeremy’s eyes were already open and staring straight up at the ceiling a good 10 minutes before his alarm went off, but he never moved. Instead, his brain cruelly decided to replay the events of the day before over and over. When he wasn’t thinking about what happened, he would think up the worst possible scenarios that could come from this entire situation. When Michael found out. When his other friends found out. When his dad found out.

And he couldn’t just turn the Squip off. Or he didn’t know how to, yet. And this time it was probably more complicated than drinking Mountain Dew Red. Even last time, Mountain Dew Red couldn’t fully turn off the Squip. Its voice was still back there in his head until a month ago, when he came down with the flu. It was terrible, and lasted about a week. He remembered his head hurt like hell and he would throw up constantly. Michael and Christine came down every day though, just to make sure he was ok.

Of course, the day before, he and the Squip had come up with a semi-decent plan. The Squip would stay home and sleep in the closet and it could come out when Jeremy’s dad wasn’t home. That was it. That was the best they had. Why didn’t Jeremy just put it on the side of the road when he had the chance? He could’ve. He thought about it. But _no._ Jenna and Jeremy had to keep theirs. For what reason, exactly? It would be fun? What was so fun about a Squip?

Anyway, they decided that they would come up with a better plan later. Jeremy guessed the Squip thought Jeremy would just cave in at some point and let the Squip go to school with him and help him become ‘cool’. But in reality, Jeremy wouldn’t stop until he found a way to shut it off. For good. But there were some problems with that. Number one, the Squip could still read Jeremy’s mind, therefore, he would know of Jeremy’s plans. Of course, he couldn’t read Jeremy’s mind 24/7 like he used to, because it would drain his battery, but he could still do it, and Jeremy had no idea how to tell when the Squip was or wasn’t reading his mind.

Number two, the Squip could still shock him. This kind of comes into play with number one. If the Squip realized Jeremy was trying to get rid of it, it would shock Jeremy and try to compel him not to. Hell, it could probably even still control Jeremy’s limbs and his vocal cords and, well, everything. Again, it didn’t have total control like it did last time, but it was still a risk. And Jeremy had no doubt that the Squip would do whatever it took the keep himself in control and alive. Or, as alive as he could be.

Number three, he couldn’t really ask for help from his friends, even though he wanted to this time. Without his friends, he was really, _really_ lost. Number four, where would he put it when it deactivated? Number five, what would he tell Jenna? Number six, what if his dad found out? Number seven, what if the government found out? Number eight, weren’t Squips illegal? Number seven- wait, no. Eight? Nine? Sure. What would happen when-

_Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep..._

Jeremy didn’t move, but the alarm interrupted his train of thought. This passed for a minute before the closet door slowly opened and the Squip came drunkenly came tumbling out. A full-grown person. _Out of Jeremy’s closet._ Jeremy blinked. He’d probably never get used to that. The Squip yawned and started walking towards Jeremy and the alarm, looking Jeremy dead in the eye with a face that looked less than amused. Way less. Jeremy sat up, looking back at the Squip who just stopped before the nightstand, and slammed his hand on the top of the arm, turning it off.

The two were quiet for a second, just looking at each other, before Jeremy nodded to the closet. “Your dad’s car is not in the driveway,” The Squip answered. “He might have gone to work early, or he abandoned you,” It shrugged and walked away. “Your call,”

“How do you know he’s not home?” Jeremy asked. The Squip turned on the lights and Jeremy shielded his eyes. “Ack!”

“My battery power reached 100% an hour ago so I woke up and heard someone close the door. I was afraid it was a home invasion,” Jeremy had to roll his eyes,” so I walked into the living room and out the window, I saw your dad walking to his car,” The Squip walked back to Jeremy and clapped. “Up,” He commanded. 

Jeremy did as he was told without thinking much about it. He stretched, looking at the Squip. He had let it borrow a white tee-shirt and a pair of red, flannel night pants. Although, the pants were kind of short on the Squip. He was tall. Maybe an inch taller than Jeremy, or an inch and a half.

Jeremy said he’d wash the Squip’s regular clothes when he got home, and he’d buy some new clothes for it soon. “If he left early, he’d probably spell something on the fridge with those letter magnets. He bought a bunch of them as a joke, but we use them all the time,”

The Squip raised his eyebrows and walked outside Jeremy’s room. Jeremy scoffed and opened his drawer to pick out clothes for the day. He pulled out a white tee with Spider Man on it, hanging upside down. He rubbed his eyes and opened his pants drawers as the Squip walked back in. “Work early. Back normal time. Love you. With misspellings, of course” The Squip put out its hand. “Shirt,” Jeremy willingly handed the shirt to the Squip. It examined it for less than a split second. “Good enough. Grey jacket?”

It handed the shirt back to Jeremy. “I guess. I wasn’t going to wear one. It’s not too cold outside,”

“Yes, but a jacket makes you look like you didn’t just wake up and decide to throw on the first thing that was hanging out of your drawer,” The Squip sighed, and walked towards the closet, looking around for the grey jacket. It had been a while since he wore it. He only wore it on cold days and days when his blue cardigan was dirty and he wanted to wear it.

Jeremy picked out a simple pair of semi-faded blue jeans and threw his clothes on the bed before turning towards the Squip, who was grabbing a jacket out of the closet, finally. It turned back, throwing the jacket on Jeremy’s bed without looking away from him. “What?”

“I need to get dressed,” Jeremy said.

The Squip rolled its eyes. “I’ve seen you naked before, Jeremy. It’s nothing to be ashamed of,”

Jeremy’s face reddened and he looked up. “Don’t say that, it sounds...whatever,” He looked back at the Squip. Its eyebrows were raised. “Look, it’s just weirder when you’re,” he gestured up and down at the Squip, “here and you look like a person and, you know...you know? Present! It’s awkward,"

The Squip stayed still for a second and then chuckled. It put its hands up in defense and started backing up, with its eyes still on Jeremy. “Ok,” It turned around and walked out of the room, laughing.

___

The school was no more crowded than it usually was, but for whatever reason, it seemed much louder and much more crowded to Jeremy. People stood in groups next to the walls, tables, or just in the middle of the floor. Anywhere they could, honestly. Just talking. No matter how hard it made things for people like Jeremy, who just wanted to get somewhere without bumping into or tripping over someone. People sat in the corners of the room too, doing late homework, reading, or talking in groups. But they were mostly out of the way.

Mostly.

Jeremy kept his eyes glued to the ground, trying to make his way to a part of the wall that was unclaimed. His dream of getting to the wall without bumping into anyone was short lived. God, he hated crowds. In the morning. At school. It was too early for this shit. But perhaps, the worst part of his mornings was that none of his friends ever got to school before him. One of the joys of being within walking distance. It was going to be a good five minutes before anyone ever arrived. Five minutes lasted forever in high school. Which was only ever a good thing during lunch.

As soon as he found the wall, he let his backpack slide down his arm and fall to the floor. He turned around and pressed his back against the wall, keeping his eyes on the floor and his head low, only letting himself gaze upward if he thought someone was walking towards him. He sighed and closed his eyes. His head still hung, making him look like he could fall asleep standing up. Which he could. He was insanely tired and still very stunned from last night. Not a good combination.

If he kept his eyes closed long enough, he could forget where he was. All the voices around him merged together inside his brain, mimicking the sound of an amusement park. Maybe he could make himself believe it was true, he was there. Everything was fine. It was 7th grade again and he was at Carowinds with Michael and his father and...mother. It was one of the happiest days of his life. Surprisingly, everyone got along. Which was weird. Jeremy’s mother was a hard person to get along with. He couldn’t deny that.

The only thing that was missing was the pungent smell of popcorn and hotdogs and something else Jeremy couldn’t put his finger on. It was sweet though. Maybe a cake of some kind? Funnel cake? No, not that. Jeremy’s had, _smelled_ funnel cake before and it doesn’t really smell like what he remembered he had smelled.

Maybe it was just a bunch of sweet cake scents mixed together. That might have been it. Because it smelled a little fruity, a little caramel-y, a little chocolaty, a little bit of everything. That’s a bit too much for one cake. Someone somewhere might like it, but it just seems like it would be too sweet for Jeremy. So, it could be something someone would make and sell. A chocolaty, caramel, strawberry, banana, sugary, whatever, cake-y mess.

Suddenly, Jeremy swayed slightly forward, then back again, making the mid-section of his back hit the wall lightly and he instinctively shot up, thinking someone was trying to attack him or something from behind, completely forgetting that there was a wall there. He hit the back of his head harshly on the wall in the process and grit his teeth in pain, taking in a sharp breath through them. He stomped his foot and slowly opened his eyes to see a group of, maybe five people, looking at him with bewildered expressions.

The boys and one girl started very obviously laughing while two of the girls tilted their heads in confusion, like they were asking if he was ok. He gulped, smiled, and slowly nodded, making sure not to hurt his head anymore. But as soon as they turned away, content with his answer, he started rubbing the back of his head and looking around himself nervously.

No one else seemed to see him or care. No one except Jake Dillinger _._ Standing directly in front him. _Great._ Jake looked around himself once his eyes met with Jeremy’s and he moved quickly to the boy’s side, looking at the back of his head. “Are you ok?” He asked quietly.

Jeremy moved to look at Jake better and stop him from examining the back of his head. “Yeah, dude, I’m fine,”

“You look spooked. Didja forget your homework or something? Again?” He joked, grinning.

It took a second for Jeremy to understand what Jake was saying. Jeremy often forgot his homework after the Squipcident, so it seemed like a good enough excuse. In reality, he was just tired and shaken up and scared and... _tired._ “Uhhhhh, yeah. Uhhh, yeah. I forgot, you know? Then I remembered, like, a few seconds ago. And then when I tried to get it I guess I hit my head, it was- you know- I got up- tried to get up _way_ too fast,” He said quickly, not thinking about anything he was saying as he said it, making up the sentence as he continued. He crossed his arms, then uncrossed them, then re-crossed them, forgetting how he normally acted.

 _Help._ He jokingly asked the Squip, knowing it couldn’t respond. Jake raised his eyebrow. “Are you sure that’s it? I mean, you’re acting weird. The homework thing was a joke,”

“What? Me?” He asked like he didn’t understand, his voice getting higher. “I’m fine!”

 ** _No, you’re not_**. Something commented inside Jeremy. It was not his own voice. His eyes widened. **_Just tell him the truth._**

“Well, if you need-“

“I need to leave,” Jeremy interrupted, calmly grabbing his bag and swinging it over his back. He quickly started walking to the restrooms, keeping his eyes on the floor and his hands in his pockets. Head low. The noise around him that once sounded like an amusement park was now unsettling white noise. **_Hands to your side, head up, back straight, Jeremy. I wasn’t gone that long, was I?_**

So, Jeremy did what he was told. He wasn’t looking for a fight. _Yeah, but you...aggh!_ Jeremy struggled to form a sentence as he walked into the restroom and continued on to the only stall available, locking himself inside. He flung his bookbag on the floor and sat on the toilet seat. He wanted to scream, yell. Like last night. _What about your battery power?_

**_Full night sleep. 100% now. Like you._ **

_Holy shit,_ Jeremy thought, putting his head in his hands. _Holy shit. Why didn’t you tell me that you could do this last night? Why didn’t you do this last night? Why are you doing this? Why can’t you just leave me alone at school, I’m already tired and I feel like hell and..._ If you previously thought you couldn’t stutter and mess up sentences in your head, let it be known that local nerd, Jeremiah Heere, could and did for about five seconds.

**_Hmm, I thought I did tell you. I need to leave periodically to conserve battery power, I can’t keep this up all the time. But I will...check on you from time to time. Pop up to make sure you’re still alive._ **

A few seconds passed. Jeremy had no idea what to say. One...two... _A-are you still here?_

**_Yes._ **

Someone knocked on the door patiently, softly, but it still caused Jeremy to jump and gasp quickly. “I need to piss, man,” The person said on the other side, but Jeremy didn’t recognize the voice.

“Urinal!” He yelled out of confusion, meaning ‘stop fucking knocking’. Whoever it was stopped talking for a second and Jeremy rolled his eyes, picking up his bag and putting it on his back as he stood up.

“Jeremy?” He asked. Jeremy stopped for a minute. Now he recognized it. He looked up at the closed door with a relieved expression, knowing no one could see him.

“Michael,” He breathed out, smiling.

“Unlock the door,” Michael commanded, and so Jeremy did. And quickly. As soon as the door opened, and Jeremy took a single step forward, Michael put both his hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes with a dead serious expression. “Dude, Jake said you were acting weird because of, like, homework or something. And you just walked away. Why are you hiding out in here?” He tilted his head, as if he was thinking. Trying to answer his own question.

Suddenly, he looked away for a split second, and when he looked back, he narrowed his eyes and took ahold of Jeremy’s sleeve, bringing him to the corner of the bathroom before the conversation continued. “Is everything ok? At home? School?” His voice got lower, as if he was trying to keep a secret. “Have you eaten?”

**_Tell him the truth._ **

Jeremy shook his head, either in response to the Squip or trying to get it out of his brain. Maybe both. “No,” He said, then remembered he was talking to Michael. “I mean, yes! I ate,” He lied. But he wasn’t hungry. His stomach was still filled with butterflies. And you couldn’t exactly eat like that. Both boys were quiet for a few seconds. Michael held up his index finger, telling Jeremy to wait, and walked over to the stall. Jeremy sighed and crossed his arms, looking downward.

 ** _Why didn’t you tell him?_** The Squip asked.

 _Because I didn’t want to._ Jeremy responded. _Why do you want me to tell them? Jake and Michael._

**_They’re your friends, aren’t they? You can’t keep secrets like this from your friends, Jeremy. Not unless you want them to find out in the most horrible way and be mad at you._ **

Jeremy paused, looking confused. _Why do you care? You didn’t care before._

**_Because things are different this time. You’re not trying to get Christine or anyone else. You’re not trying to become popular anymore because you simply don’t care about it. You seem happy, Jeremy. With your friends, with your life. You virtually don’t need me. I’m just around to keep you from ruining your friendships, acting like a complete nerd, and dying._ **

A few seconds passed. _What are you going to do if I don’t listen to you?_

**_Nothing, I guess. Let you live. Make mistakes. Be a teenager. I told you last night that I really don’t want to shock you anymore. I just did it last night so you would calm down and talk to me. Because otherwise you would shut down and do something irrational. I felt horrible afterwards. That treatment is terrible. I won’t do it anymore._ **

_Why?_ Three seconds passed. No one answered. _Hello?_ Three more seconds. Jeremy sighed softly as Michael walked out of the stall and towards him. He grabbed the boy’s wrist tightly. Not so tight that it hurt, but he had a good grip. _Hello?_ Jeremy asked again and when no one answered again, he decided to talk to Michael. “What are you doing?” He had a pretty good idea of what was going on though.

“I’m hungry. You’re going to eat something too. Rich and Jake grabbed a table for us,”

“I’m not hungry,”

Michael scoffed. “You fucken’ better be,”

**_Follow him. Don’t argue any further._ **

Jeremy rolled his eyes, but let Michael drag him out of the restrooms. As soon as the boys walked back outside and in the direction of the cafeteria, everything got loud again. Maybe louder than before. Or maybe it was just Jeremy. It was still unsettling white noise, and he had a feeling it wouldn’t go back to amusement park today.

God, what was wrong with him? Yeah, some weird shit was going on, but he really should be getting over it by now. Why wasn’t he over it? He sighed. “Sorry, ‘m just tired. Out of it. We will get back to our regular programing shortly,” He joked. But he sounded so drained, it was hard to really tell. It wasn’t a lie. He was up a good bit of the night.

Michael nodded, pivoting through the crowd of people to get to the lunch tables, but he didn’t say anything. Jeremy looked up, seeing the table Rich and Jake sat at. No one else was there. Jake was describing something, moving his hands around to illustrate his point, whatever that was. He made an explosion sound and widened his eyes, using his hands to mimic a cloud of smoke as Michael sat Jeremy down two seats away from him.

He stood up, putting his hands on the table and leaning forward, waiting for the two to stop talking. Jake finished his demonstration before he smiled, looking up at Michael and Jeremy. “Hey,” He said. Rich repeated. Jake stopped smiling and leaned towards Jeremy, looking concerned. “How’s your head?”

“What?” Rich asked before Jeremy had any time to respond.

“He hit his head on the wall,” Jake answered. Rich laughed loudly once, and Jeremy rolled his eyes.

Michael tapped the table to get everyone’s attention. It worked. “I’m going to get food,”

“I want those mini-pancake things,” Jake said.

Rich made a face of repulsion. “Those things are gross,”

“You’re gross,”

“Fruit loops,” Rich said, ignoring Jake. “Chocolate milk,”

Jake’s face wrinkled up in disgust. He looked at Rich, making sure the boy saw it. “Ewww,”

Rich pushed Jake’s shoulder slightly. “Fuck off, man,”

Michael looked at Jeremy, who said nothing. He shrugged. Michael stared at Jeremy disapprovingly for a second before standing up and putting on an unreadable expression. “Ok,” He said clearly, and walked over to the lunch line. He watched Michael disappear into the crowd of people.

“But are you ok?” Jake asked. Jeremy looked back to the boys. Rich was grinning, but Jake looked worried. Jeremy nodded and slowly smiled, but didn’t say anything. “You kind of ran off earlier, acting...” Jake trail off, moving his hands rapidly up and down like he was chopping something. “Weird. Is everything ok?”    

“Yeah. I’m just not feeling well, I guess. I mean, I just didn’t sleep well,” Jeremy replied. Jake shrugged.

“ _Shock-er,”_ Rich said, making subtle jazz hands. Jake elbowed him.

“I mean, I didn’t sleep. At all. I guess I thought I had more weekend,” Jeremy awkwardly chuckled.

Jake chuckled as well. “ _God,_ I wish,” They dropped the subject. 

Suddenly, a pack of Froot Loops, with a plastic spoon on top of it, and a carton of chocolate milk slid towards Rich and his face lit up. “Hell yeah!” He exclaimed, opening the pack of cereal. Jake made a gagging sound and stuck out his tongue, and Rich retaliated by swatting him on his shoulder. Jeremy looked beside himself as Michael started to sit down.

He slid a pack of mini-pancakes and a tiny syrup box towards Jake, which he immediately tore in to. “F’ose pancakes are pr’olly cold by now,” Rich commented with his mouth full. “ _Ew-w-w,”_

Jake laughed. “Shut up, chocolate Froot Loops,”

“What?” Rich asked innocently.

Jake shoved a whole mini-pancake in his mouth and reflectively moaned, still laughing a bit. “I’m so fucking hungry,” Rich agreed and the two of them started talking about something else as Michael laid an opened plastic bowl of Cheerios in front of Jeremy, with the end of a plastic spoon sticking out. Jeremy looked at Michael, who was smiling slightly, The boy followed, and looked back at his bowl without a word. He was about to pick up his spoon when, suddenly: **_Say thank you Jeremy. This is first grade stuff._**

He jumped a bit upon hearing the Squip’s voice and immediately put his head on the table, covering it with his arms. The table got quiet, and all three boys looked at Jeremy. No one moved. He was acting strange today, everyone thought. Stranger then he usually acted. It wasn’t uncommon that Jeremy forgot his homework, or was insanely tried, or was accidently mean to someone, or he forgot to eat, but this was different. And they knew it. They just didn’t know exactly what was happening.

Michael sighed. “He said he was just tired,” He said in a low tone. Jeremy cringed, but no one saw him. Rich and Jake slowly started eating again, with their eyes still on Jeremy. The Squip snickered. And that was that.        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chocolate milk is gross and if you like it you’re gross, fite me


	4. Everything About You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title: I Headcannon That Mr. Heere Works At A Car Dealership And You All Can Deal With It, subtitle, His Name Is Also Paul

Unfortunately, people bought cars on the weekend too.

Well, it was unfortunate for Paul Heere, who had to go into work on a Saturday to organize and edit some paperwork stating that cars were actually bought from the dealership and not stolen, and Jeremy Heere, who had plans with Paul to go get ice cream before A La Mode shut down for the winter. Well, actually, those plans weren’t completely ruined. Paul was going to come home around 2:30, but currently, it was only 9:27, meaning he had to wait five hours for his father to get home, and five hours was basically forever in Jeremy’s mind.  

The teenaged boy watched expressionlessly as the blue Chevy pulled out of his driveway and disappeared down the road. As soon as it had left, he sighed and fell sideways onto the couch, which he was kneeling on to look out the window. He closed his eyes and yawned. Not sleeping for a week was starting to get to him, but he couldn’t sleep at night. You try sleeping as soon as you remember there’s a person in your closet. Not just a person, a human looking robot who knows everything that’s going on in your mind and could shock you or ruin your life at any given moment.

Who knew what it was capable of doing? Hell, it didn’t even know what it was capable of doing. It said so on the first day it was opened. _It came out of a box, for Christ sake!_ Still, Jeremy hand to hand it to the Squip, it hadn’t done anything to prove it was trying to hurt Jeremy or make him live a certain way yet. It had only shocked him twice, only told him what to do at school or before school when he was getting ready, and it seemed to like his friends, or at least tolerate them.

Jeremy would almost describe its behavior as nice. Almost nice enough to let him be a part of his life. You know, go to school, or tell his friends about it. But he didn’t forget, he thought the Squip was out to help him the first time, and that turned out to be a mess. _Speaking of Squips,_ Jeremy thought as something walked into the living room. The Squip sighed loudly, but Jeremy didn’t open his eyes. “Jeremy, get up. It’s 9:30,”

He thought for a minute. “No,”

The Squip didn’t argue. It just sighed again. “What are you going to do today?”

“Nothing,”

“Nothing?” It asked unenthusiastically.

Jeremy smiled smugly, knowing the Squip was upset with his choices. “Yep, until 2:30,”

The Squip thought for a few seconds, then sighed. “You can call Michael to keep yourself busy,”

“You call Michael,” He mumbled, starting to fall asleep.

“Who do you talk to least?”

He thought about it for a second. “Probably Jenna,” It wasn’t like he never got along with her, they just didn’t have much in common until the boxes came and Jenna decided to keep hers as well. Even then, they didn’t talk a lot.  

“You can call Jenna,” It stated.  

“You call Jenna,”

It was quiet again for a few seconds while the Squip figured out what to say. Jeremy yawned and moved to lay on his back. “You’re really going to sit around and do nothing until one 2:30?”

“Try it. It’s fun,”

“You can’t go to sleep Jeremy. It isn’t good for your sleeping schedule to take a nap before noon,”

“Fuck off,” Jeremy said tiredly, waving the Squip off to the best of his ability.

“You need to clean this living room. That’s an order, Jeremy,” The Squip stated assertively.

He opened his eyes a bit, looking at the Squip. Its arms were crossed and it looked down at Jeremy as if it was disappointed. It probably was. He frowned. “Why?”

“Your dad will be pleased with you, and it’s proven the more active you are in the morning, the better your day will be. You’ll feel more energized. A 2011-2012 study showed that if you are active in the mornings, your day will be better, and you’ll be more tired as night rolls around, which is good, because you need to get your sleep schedule back on track,”

Jeremy looked at the Squip, studying its face for any underlaying emotion, but came up empty handed. He sat up. “Really?”

“Do I look like I’m joking?” Squip asked. Jeremy shrugged. A few awkward seconds of silence passed before the Squip uncrossed it’s arms. “I’m not asking you to run a mile, Jeremy, I’m asking you to clean your house,”

Jeremy shrugged, looking around himself. It wasn’t like the house was an absolute mess. Some dishes here, some books that fell off the shelf, the shoe pile, and he needed to sweep, but that was it. He sighed and then looked at the Squip. “You’re helping,”

It cocked its head to the side in confusion. “Why?”

“Because you have hands,”

The Squip crossed its arms, obviously trying to look threatening. “Jeremy,”

“Squip,” Jeremy mocked, crossing his arms as well.

“This is _your_ task,”

“That _you_ assigned,”

“You have two hands,”

“So do you. That’s four. Are you really as good at math as you said you were?”

It was quiet as the Squip tried to find an excuse not to help clean. It couldn’t. It growled. “You’re twisting my robotic arm,”

Jeremy raised his eyebrow and slowly stood up, somehow keeping his arms crossed. “Is that an ‘ok’?”

The Squip sighed, letting its shoulders slump and his arms fall to the side. There was absolutely no way out of it. Jeremy smirked. He could get use to having another pair of hands in the house when his dad was away. Especially if it meant he could get the Squip to do the dishes. He hated dishes. “Why not?” The Squip let out a smirk of its own that didn’t last very long. It sighed again and looked around the living room. “Alright, where do we start?”

“You’re that one who wanted it clean,” Jeremy shot back. “Aren’t you supposed to figure this out?”

“Jeremy,” it whined.

Jeremy chuckled, heading for some dishes on the coffee table. “You? Start on the dishes,”

___

The Squip finished the kitchen with much complaining, and Jeremy finished the living room teasing the Squip every five seconds. Well, more or less finished the living room. “Jeremy,” the Squip started, walking over to the boy, “you didn’t sweep under the couch,”

“What Dad doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Jeremy replied, trying to walk to broom back to the kitchen where they kept it. The Squip rolled it’s eyes and tried to grab the broom calmly, but Jeremy pulled away. “You’ll just make an even bigger mess, dude! Look at this floor!”

“Ah, so you admit it’s a mess under there,”

Jeremy chuckled and quickly dodged another one of the Squip’s attempts to take the broom from behind him. “Don’t! We’re done,”

“We have to do this right,” it said, reaching over Jeremy’s shoulders to get it from his hands.

He put his hands outin front of him, distancing the Squip from the broom. “I thought you hated cleaning,”

“I do, but that doesn’t mean we have to leave a mess under the couch,”

Jeremy shook the Squip off his back and stepped away, smiling. He looked at the Squip’s face. It was smiling too. It crossed its arms. “Ah, so you admit you hate cleaning,” Jeremy said, mocking the Squip. It rolled its eyes and took a few steps forward, making Jeremy shuffle to the side.

“I’ll do it if you just give me the broom,”

He thought about it for a second, or pretended to, looking up at the ceiling. “But, see, here’s what’s going to happen. If you sweep out from under the couch, you’re going to complain that I’m not helping you,” He looked back down at the Squip and put his arm out, telling the Squip to stop and knowing fully well that it wasn’t going to. “You did the same thing with the fridge,”

The Squip scoffed, but still held a smile. Which it did try to hide, but that wasn’t working out well. “Well, your fridge was a mess, I needed help,”

“I told you to leave it, Dad’s not gonna care. He didn’t even ask us to do this in the first place, it was your idea,”

The Squip shuffled to the side, hoping to have room to get close to Jeremy and grab the broom, but the boy moved with him, blocking the path. It reached for the broom again, even though Jeremy was pushing him away. “I won’t do it again, it’s just a mess down there. I saw you sweep dirt under the couch, don’t think I wasn’t looking!”

Jeremy made an over dramatic gasp and put his hand to his heart. “Me? Never,” Before he could stop the Squip, it started advancing on him. Jeremy jumped on the couch quickly and ran to the other side. The Squip followed him on the floor.

“Give me the broom,”

“Can’t we just relax and watch some T.V or play a game or something?”

The Squip groaned. “This is, like, a two-minute job, Jeremy,”

Jeremy stood his ground, holding the broom close to him and trying to distance it as much as he could from the Squip, but it wasn’t working well. “And?”

“Jeremy, give me the broom,” it repeated, whining. It reached for the broom again, quickly this time, making Jeremy flinch. It stopped. It looked at the top of Jeremy’s head with a confused expression.

It was dead silent. It squinted its eyes for a minute, wondering what it had done, then slowly began to realize, it was not anything that had been done, but what the boy thought was going to happen to him. Its expression started to soften. The silence began to feel worse. It started to feel guilty, which was not something it felt often. When nothing happened, Jeremy slowly looked back up with a pitiful expression, slowly turning the Squip’s guilt into anger.

It grabbed the broom with a huff, causing Jeremy to flinch again, but this time, the Squip payed no attention to it. It started sweeping from under the couch without saying anything to Jeremy. It was silent again, but this was a new kind of silence, and it only lasted a few seconds. “I’d _never_ hit you, Jeremy,” it growled out.

Some part of the Squip still felt guilty and sad for Jeremy. It didn’t matter that it never actually laid a finger on Jeremy, he still thought the Squip was going to harm him, and that was probably the Squip’s fault. The sting of not being trusted enough is what made it mad, though. And that won over any feeling of guilt or sadness.

“I know,” Jeremy mumbled.

It refused to look at him until the job was done. “What would make you think I was getting ready to hit you?” It walked toward the end of the room, where the dustpan was left, still avoiding eye contact with Jeremy, and then walked back quickly, cleaning up the mess. Which actually wasn’t as big as either boy made it out to be.

“I don’t know,” He looked down at the floor as the Squip passed him, throwing the dust and dirt in the trash.

“Why can’t you just trust me?”

Jeremy spun around angrily. “I don’t know!” The Squip stopped, looking straight at him. “I thought...earlier, you know-“

“I just want you to trust me,” It whined, putting the broom and dustpan back in its place and walking towards Jeremy.

“I want to trust you!”

“Then why can’t you?”

“Something keeps stopping me, I don’t know...” He crossed his arms, looking downward. “I just...keep remembering...last year...”

“But this is not last year,”

Jeremy looked back up with his arms still crossed, shrugging to the best of his ability. He chuckled once dryly. “Yeah? But you still did terrible stuff to me,”

“But that doesn’t mean you can’t give me a chance,”

He paused for a second, and then scoffed. “I don’t know if you understand how hard this is for me,” He shook his head in disbelief, putting his hands to his side. How did it not understand? It frequently agreed that it treated Jeremy like shit in the past, how did it not understand that this was hard for him?  “I’m living with someone who...one, who I never wanted to see again, and two, someone who hurt me _so much._ I mean, I still have issues!”

The Squip looked to the side. “Well, I didn’t mean to,” It looked back down to the floor and shook its head, thinking about what it was going to say. Finally, it looked back at Jeremy. “It was my job, I didn’t ever wan-“

“It was your job?” Jeremy interrupted, speaking loudly. “To ruin my life?”

The Squip raised its voice. “To improve it!”

He dryly chuckled again and pushed past the Squip, trying to sit at the end of the couch, but the Squip followed him. “Yeah? Well you did a shit job!”

Before Jeremy could sit down, the Squip was in his face. “You resisted my help, Jeremy. You’d probably still be with Christine by now if I was still in charge,”

There was silence for a few seconds as Jeremy looked to the ground, trying to process what had just been said. He looked back up with narrowed eyes. “What?” He said softly.

“You’d be popular. You would have everything you’ve ever wanted,”

He scoffed. “I _wanted_ Michael, my _friend_ ,”

“You wanted Christine,” The Squip’s voice got louder to combat Jeremy’s, but Jeremy just raised his voice along with the Squip.

“I wanted freedom!”

“Well, then you shouldn’t have gotten me!”

“Yeah, I shouldn’t have,” Jeremy paused and scoffed. “You know, this whole week I was beginning to think you were a nice guy and maybe you realized how shitty you were towards me back then, but nothing changed. You still boss me around and tell me what to do at school, you still try to control me-”

The Squip interrupted. “Let’s be honest here, Jeremy, yes, I still tell you what to do, but do I do anything when you refuse? And I’m not trying to do anything, you’re still just intimidated by me, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything to you!”

“How can I trust you?”

The Squip shrugged and scoffed. “What have I done to make you not trust me?”

“You existed,” He shot back sarcastically.

“I can still shock you,” The Squip said calmly, as if it was no problem, when really, it knew that it didn’t want to shock Jeremy again. It still could, but it didn’t want to. Even threatening it made the Squip feel bad.

“Try it, asshole!” Jeremy yelled in its face, standing on his toes just to look into its eyes. The Squip would have found it comical if not for the circumstances.

The Squip leaned forward so it was insanely close to Jeremy, hoping it would make the boy back down, but it didn’t. “I know I was shitty! I know I did bad things! I know I handled your resistance in a bad way, I’m sorry for that. But I tried to do the right thing, please, it was what I was programed to do! And let’s be honest, if you hadn’t resisted- if you hadn’t, you’d be the most popular kid in school by now,”

Jeremy held his arms out behind him. “That doesn’t make what you did right!”

“No, it doesn’t!”

“Are we agreeing?!” He yelled in confusion.

“Yeah, I think so!” It yelled back, looking into Jeremy’s eyes. It let its shoulders fall backed up, rubbing the back of its neck. Jeremy stood back on his heels and looked downward. It didn’t want to fight with Jeremy, especially not about this. It wanted to put the whole situation behind them, but it was obvious that wasn’t going to happen. “I’m just...” it started quietly, making Jeremy look up, “Jeremy, I’m trying to change. I am. I believe...I mean, I _know_ what I did back then was wrong, but I was programed to do it. And I was programed to think it was right. That’s all I’m saying here. I’m just now realizing it was bad. I don’t know why. But I’m just now understanding,”

Jeremy sighed, crossing his arms loosely. “I know you’re changing, I see it. Part of me wants to give you a second chance, and then part of me is terrified of you. I don’t know what to do,” He sat down slowly on the edge of the couch, not looking at the Squip. “Can I tell you something stupid?”

“Sure,” It cleared it’s throat and then sat down beside him, keeping it’s distance.

Jeremy breathed in slowly and breathed out in the some manor, letting it all out in one go. “Sometimes, I mean- I just wish this was easy. But sometimes I wish you were still a dick. That you still shocked me often and told me I couldn’t see Michael and told me I had to date and use someone again like Chloe or Brooke and told me I was a terrible person again, just so I can be mad at you. That’d be easy. But instead this past week you’ve been nice and...you still tell me what to do sometimes, like, a lot, but if I don’t want to do it, you don’t make me. You don’t hurt me. You haven’t hurt me since I opened the box,”

The Squip was quiet for a few seconds, wondering how to respond. It understood where Jeremy was coming from and felt for him. It _would_ be a lot easier, but it’d be more harmful, if that made any sense at all. It finally let out a breath it had been unknowingly holding in. “It was even wrong to hurt you when you opened the box, but I was as confused and scared as you were. I was lost. I wanted you to look at me and stop freaking out. But when I shocked you, it hurt me, and I felt it,”

“What?” Jeremy asked quickly, turning towards the Squip, who wasn’t looking at him.

“Metaphorically,”

He looked back to the floor. “Oh,” Jeremy suddenly felt a tear tail down his cheek. He didn’t exactly know why. He pulled his feet up on the couch and rested his chin on his knees, letting more tears silently fall. How were they going to make this living arraignment work?

Jeremy would always have a memory of Junior year and the horrible things that happened. He’d never be able to fully trust the Squip again, which kind of sucked, because he really wanted to. But seeing the Squip would always remind him of that. He gulped down a lump in his throat. “I’m sorry for yelling at you,” He mumbled.  

“I’m sorry too,” The Squip said slowly. He was quiet for a second, then asked quickly: “Are you crying?”

He quieted for two seconds, at least. “No,” he lied.

“Well,” The Squip cleared its throat, “I am,”

Jeremy couldn’t help but smile. He chuckled. “Good, because I lied,”

“You’re crying?”

“Yes,”

“Why did you say you weren’t?”

“I though you’d think I was stupid, shut up,”

“No, not stupid,” The Squip looked around and chuckled softly. “Well, at least the house is clean,” It looked downwards,  chuckling once more.  

Jeremy chuckled as well, still looking at the Squip. “We have three hours until Dad comes home,”

It looked back. “What do you want to do?”

“Video games?”

“I don’t really know how-“

“I’ll teach you,” Jeremy interrupted, smiling. He decided living with the Squip wasn’t going to be perfect, not at all. It was going to be hard and they would fight a lot, but he wanted to try. It wasn’t like he really had a choice, what could he do to get rid of it? It was interesting, living with a Squip.

Yeah. Interesting. The Squip smiled as well.  

“Sure,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing gets a lot worse from the fourth chapter down, if you’ve read anything I previously wrote, you should know that. You have been warned


End file.
